lots of us, having this dream we always hang in front of our mind. You work really hard to make that happen, to make yourself proud and to make everyone proud of you and not actually let them down.
you always try to be the best version of yourself, coping with your dream, your organization or whatever it is called. there will always be a pile of work you need to finish. yet the idea of someone trust you with their stories, their anxiety, their laugh and cry is so compelling and you forget your own. you turn into this selfless person of yourself. youre busy trying to mend others heart but you forget your own scar.
you keep pushing yourself to your limit. the idea of becoming ace of any part of your life is so big that sometimes it drive you nut.
all of those time when you forgot your own self, you will always feel hanging in between everything, in every feeling and emotion. you feel deep and shallow, you feel strong and weak, you want to cry and scream, you want to be everything yet you feel nothing. its all too much for a person to hold everything inside. you store too much memories and feeling of others that you hang inside your heart tightly.
you have nowhere to go.
all of your idea will only be heard by your own self, or maybe the wall inside your room. its loud but its nonexistent to everyone around us. you tired of coping with every feeling of every person you care. because there is no one to hold your feeling. to share your own feeling. just because you think it will be another burden for them if you add another story to their life.
now you understand what it feels like to be alone. and cant do anything about it except to mend your ownself.
be patient darling, we can get through this. fake the smile and spirit. dont let yourself drown in this feeling. swim through it but dont get too carried of.
because you are on your own
no one gonna understand what you feel