Happy fasting! I know its kinda late but better late than never eh?.
So today i want to share how people like me whose a) not very pretty b) not very slim (and slender).
2 days ago if im not wrong. My sist tell me about her concern about the similar things. To be specific that her friends is well, more “the interesting one” even though shes a bit… I cant find a word for it( yep my vocabs not really good too ), for sure shes those kind of girl whose nastiest comment could turn into cute cute saying( for her surrounding ).
And in the other hand, my sist get those “fatty label” by her acquaintance. And she tell how much her current workplace keep telling those word over and over ( while she already changed and more beautiful now ) and the result that she feel the certain pressure to be look as thin as, as white as, as pretty as possible (and she kinda lose her confidence tho which is not really her ). You must know that these trait are the ideal in our nation. Yep everyone seem to be in love with those kind of girl.
So, now my story. It happened long long long time ago haha. Junior high to be exactly. I and 2 of my best friends sleep over my friends home. And everything go smooth before, i dont know breakfast or lunch which we meet her mother and she join us. And out of nowhere she said ” bulan kamu tuh sebenernya jelek ya biasa aja ” (“bulan you actually look ugly eh? So-so”. And BAMM! It really breaks my heart and i really want to cry at that moment. But i manage to reply her ” haha i know tante”. Until now when it come to my look those words stab my mind over and over. And when i just get the moody mood, those thing wear me off. I hate it.
I really understand that people really judge the book by its cover (and maybe not gonna change in short time). They accept you okay, but you know. They will not go to you to talk about something and hang out etc. And they can not see your true flaw like the good part of you sort be forgotten and abandoned cause we simply dont suit your ideal type. I prove it several time. I said something and no one seem noticed but in second my (better look than me) friend said something similar to what i said and they went blast. Already have tried to believe that the society not that cruel but then the situation prove and prove me wrong.
Im not too depressed by the situation ( it sometimes get me down too ofc ), it just make me want to laugh( the bitter one). I know that it wont change and i accept it. I also accept myself. With my fat label and ugly label and pimples label and dark short label. I accept that.
I accept that i with this face and body and soul as one package and God, give me this body and face to keep my feet on the ground. That it is a challenge for me to be better and better in this whole self. That this is my once in a lifetime shot and i must do it as well as i can, no matter what. Even when peoples dont see me and my quality. Its okay. There is one or two people that see my quality not my physical appearance, and it is enough for me. Cause i know its the best design that ever given to me.
The message here, dont ever tell people that they look ugly. Please. It will last in their head and heart forever, making they think that “thats” they are. The ugly ducking. And live their live with those label forever.
The struggle is real, huh? Cheers *raise my Perrier*